“A positive attitude is not a destination — it’s a way of life.” – Anonymous
What did the cucumber say to the pickle? You mean a great dill to me!
The Sun makes a sound but we cannot hear it.
“The quality of your life will be determined by the quality of your contribution. When you work to improve the lives of others, your life improves automatically.” – Kurek Ashley
When do computers overheat? When they need to vent!
All the world’s bacteria stacked on top of each other would stretch for 10 billion light-years.
“Whatever you do, don’t do it halfway.” -Bob Beamon
What does a spy do when he is cold? He goes undercover!!
The ice isn’t the only thing that’s frozen during NHL and AHL games. Pucks are kept frozen before games to keep them from bouncing.
“The difference between greatness and mediocrity is often how an individual views a mistake.” -Nelson Boswell
What is small and red and has a raspy voice? A hoarse raddish!
Chimpanzees are known to be the animal with the highest IQ.
“The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.” —B.B. King
Why are the Irish people so wealthy? Because their capital is “Dublin”!
An alligator’s eyes glow in the dark.
“Every Friday, I like to high five myself for getting through another week on little more than caffeine, willpower, and inappropriate humor.” —Nanea Hoffman
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope!
Sweat releases dirt through your pores, which reduces acne and breakouts. Workouts improve the overall look of your skin.
“There is nothing on earth you cannot have, once you have mentally accepted the fact thatyou can have it.” – Robert Collier
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire.
It takes about 10 pounds of milk to make 1 pound of cheese, though this ratio changes depending on the type of milk.
“Defeat doesn’t finish a man – quit does. A man is not finished when he’s defeated. He’s finished when he quits.” – Richard Nixon
What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless!
“Top cats often begin as underdogs.” – Bernard Meltzer
What did the horse say after it fell? Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
“Every situation in life is temporary. So when life is good, make sure you enjoy and receive it fully. And when life is not so good, remember that is will not last forever and better days are on the way.” – Jenni Young
Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer? She kept running away from the ball!
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.” Henry David Thoreau
Why didn’t the farmer’s son go into medicine? He wanted to go into a different field.
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” – Dr. Seuss
What do turtles, eggs, and beaches all have? Shells!
